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Psychointegration session
By Jorge Raul Olguin

We are going to talk, just like in previous sessions about Service. It was said that in many cases there are people who serve in institutions, like hospitals, clinics, or medical institutions and they serve mandatorily because it is their job to do that, because that's all they have to do. The example I will give is the example of a nurse who works 8 to 10 hours earning little money, complaining about her life... Maybe that nurse has to go to her house and she also has he own personal problems, family and emotional distress... A thousand kinds of problems. So, the first question would be, with this type of required service, Could she ascend spiritually? The answer is YES.

For better or worse, mandatorily or not, the nurse is somehow helping other people. She can be assisting terminal patients or helping children who are taking their first vaccine and creating a better perspective of life, etc... The problem appears in her spirit, if that person is unhappy with what she does for a living. Maybe not about her profession or her duty, in the case of another person, but dissatisfied with her life in general. Then, she will have a broken spirit, her Higher-self will be sad and the person herself will be sad. It's like somehow that sadness can contaminate the rest of the spirit suffocating her life, because she does not have solved her longings, because she feels that her life is not pleasant for her, and somehow it’s like and up and down effect. On one hand she is up, due to that "mandatory" Service and on the other hand it’s like her spirit is stained and descends going through questioning that she makes herself.

Service must be done without obligation, Service must be joyful. A young man once told me a long ago that sometimes when we say to others that Service is elevating spiritually, they have a dilemma: "Oh! if I'm not going to be helpful to my neighbor my vibrational level will descend, Or if I don’t act altruistically my spirit will have problems ". "This is wrong, Professor Olguin, because then you are creating more conflicts and pushing people so that they Serve mandatorily" The confusion goes through partial misunderstanding of what I have explained. Service must be done with Joy; it has to come from the bottom of the heart, without speculations: 

-"Oh sure, I'll take a few points if I help this old lady to cross the street". "Tomorrow I'm going to the hospital and I’ll donate blood and I’ll make 3 or 4 points." It has nothing to do with being so "cold" in the calculations of doing Service. The thing is that Service comes from the heart, without speculations, without calculations. That we feel useful, proud with a healthy pride, not ego, capable to serve others. And that will never make us feel badly from any point of view. On the contrary! That will bring us recognition and we have to be happy for that recognition.

There was an old aphorism, which is not mine that says: "Do not let that defeat defeats you and do not let that victory conquers you". Most of us are alert to criticism as a matter of ego. Criticism bothers us and if it’s destructive even more. Then, it is very difficult that defeat defeats us, it’s much easier than victory conquers us. Translating this it would be a compliment. Flattery conquers us. Generally the person who makes a compliment is a sycophantic person who seeks to take advantage of something. And flattery conquers the ego, our ego, which is always seeking approval. What better endorsement that a compliment? It's like an award, like a pat on your shoulder.

How can we differentiate a healthy recognition from a flattery? It can be done by the way of doing it. It may be from whom you are receiving the recognition, etc... Recognition is a healthy thing. It is part of dignity, it has nothing to do with the ego, nor does it have anything to do with flattery. It’s an acknowledgment of a work you're doing or an attitude you took the weekend for someone else and then they called you by phone and you were recognized it: "Ah, but we are delighted with what you've done". Recognition would be bad for yourself, if you boosted yourself in vanity. However, if you take it in a natural way; that recognition is valid! The other person did it with complete kindness and gratitude, responding to the kindness you had in favor of some of them at some point.

Flattery is different, because it seeks to hinder your concept. Flattery is seeking somehow to make you confused. Flattery and recognition are opposites although they look similar. Recognition comes from the heart and the person has to receive it as it is. If we ignored this recognition we would fall into false modesty, as I said many times false modesty is hypocrisy’s cousin. The example I give is when I went to the program with Horacio Embon and he asked me a very tricky question: "Do you consider yourself a Master?" Any person with false modesty would say:- "Oh! No, I’m not, I have to learn too much, I am not a Master.” And false modesty is hypocrisy’s cousin because if I knew and I had many disciples learning from me and they have move forward ascending, my answer then it must be the one I gave. "Yes, of course I think that I am a Master". And it’s also true what I said back then, "but I will also keep on being a student until the last day of this incarnation." Then, I defeated the momentum of false modesty because it seemed to me hypocritical to say: "Oh, no, no!" Or "Yes, yes! That is correct".

Then, we have reviewed two topics, we have reviewed the topic related to service, which must be done with joy and we have reviewed the topic about recognition, which has nothing to do with flattery. Sometimes one of the laws of the physical plane tells us that we have to give acknowledge about what we did so that we don’t create confusion or engrams or even a minimal acknowledgment! However, it is always important to give acknowledgement. Sometimes the other person does not acknowledge because directly ignores the laws of the physical plane, because he/she is ignorant about the topic. On the other hand, if I were a defense attorney in the laws of the physical plane I would say: "Oh, but there is something called ethics". Even if a person does not know the laws of the physical plane, he/she can still acknowledge due to a matter of ethics, keeping in mind the other person. Because he who does not respond, does not take you into account, and not having the other person in mind is a lack of respect and disrespect is a hostile act. A minimal hostile act, but a hostile act in the end.

There are people who work together with each other officially, unofficially they are quite individualistic. They are people who are interested in showing off as a matter of ego or directly they are indoctrinated, they are taught in such way like those horses that do not see to the sides so that they don’t hear, they are not distracted, or frightened, they are indoctrinated to do such a thing as if they had hard-skin on the forehead and they don’t move from there. Then, they are not working together. They are not cooperating with each other! They are used to being individualistic people so that they do not do it on purpose. They do not give acknowledgement; they do not pay attention to others, they are seeking their own personal glory, because they were taught in that way. With all due respect to those people, but they look like those trained dogs that perform certain tasks. And I’m not speaking on behalf of that person who can investigate, I speak against them. When a person loses the initiative he/she is a person who is not going to perform well on what he/she is working, because that person is in-doc-tri-na-ted and his/her point of view will be so small that at any given time they will be stranded regardless the official status they have to develop within the work they are doing. That's why I always say that, as far as possible, we have to work together or we have to interact in work daily. We always have to keep in mind the other person! Obviously, there are some tasks that can be done independently, obviously there's work to be done unilaterally, but some people are still working like robots. And those people are like ballasts to the rest of the group unfortunately.

This brings up another part of Psychointegration whenever you are diagramed or you improvise. Those people who are usually like that do not give acknowledgement since they are schematic. In Freudian psychology such schemes are widely used. In transpersonal psychology and Psychointegration, the technique I created in 1997, they do not have any scheme. Transpersonal psychology certainly does have some schemes that still have not been eliminated at all due to the lack of courage.

Sometimes it's good to be brave. The thing is that the concept of society about being bold, seems like the word shameless and it is related to hostile acts. I have no shame. If my roles of ego are integrated, I have no shame to speak in public, I have no shame to show myself as I am, I have no shame to look at the eye of another person, etc... So Am I a scoundrel? In many regions the word shameless has a negative meaning like the word bold. The word ‘bold’ sounds like a person who invades committing hostile acts. To me boldness or audacity has no negative meaning, as long as we are talking in terms of a sense of balance. I can be bold to tackle a new project, I can dare to have a new love, I can dare to restart my life if I failed before due to unlucky life circumstances, I can be shameless to have new desires, etc.. If I don’t dare, I am committing a hostile act against myself. Then being bold in this society is like: "Oh! how insolent you are!" Bold is a word that I like to use it with balance. Always with balance.

The schematic person the one who improvises has always being considered as a person who does not have a horizon, as a person who is like a weathercock moved by the wind. Improvisation also has to be balanced. This big work is done with balance in Psychointegration. Psychointegration also regularly improvises on a given topic. That's what matters! Not having schemes, the person will have one, two, three, four tools to choose from, after a certain period the person will have a thousand different tools to find out which tool he/she can use. That is good! That's important when balancing improvisation.

There is a very important issue that I would like to approach and it has to do with how to try to achieve that the other person complies with the laws of the physical plane and gives acknowledgment. We send an email, another, another and another and the person does not reply. Until finally, one loses the patience or because we feel anxious because we find no acknowledgment from the other party, we say: "I do not understand why you do not communicate." The other party takes it as a hostile act because if we are the ones who sent this email and we say: "I do not understand why you do not communicate" we are complaining in any way, we are talking about us and not about the other person. The famous ME. So the sentence "I do not understand why you do not communicate" comes from the ego. We are complaining and that complaint may provoke in the other person a contradictory effect. The complaint makes that the person in many cases can be more aloof. The way to "conquer" the person is just giving recognition. Not a calculated recognition as I said before, but an acknowledgment from the heart. I really want to contact with that person, this person is really going to be useful to me, but here's the main thing, I'm going to be useful to that person too. It will be reciprocated. It will have a good future. Then, the communication is going to be beneficial for both parties. Then the contact is good to start with the acknowledgment. That is very important to consider.

We approached the topic about the schemes, the issue about communication, recognition and flattery, and we said that Service is not mandatory. Then, we approach the issue of generality. Why sometimes people who are individualistic do not communicate? Because somehow two things may happen: First, they drag certain engrams from other past lives and they just have that communication hindered based on these engrams. Second. In most of the cases the lack of communication in those beings, who are individualistic, is dictated precisely by society. They are used to that and unfortunately, it's like suddenly they like being individualistic people. They lose the sense of communication with the others. It's like the example I gave at the beginning of the nurse who is committing a hostile act toward herself for complaining about her life style in spite of providing permanent Service in her work. While generating a hostile act against herself she made up for herself when she serves others during the day. With the individualistic person happens the same thing. An individualistic person who somehow wants to succeed in his/her research, but his/her horizon is going to be closed because the more individualistic the person is, the more the person will be in the shadows. There will come a time when there will be a black hole in his/her future, a huge gravitational well that the person will not be able to get out from it. We, if we are open-minded people, will try to reach out those people to move them forward, and we are going to do it with joy, pleasure, and we are going to feel good. And if return by rescuing that person it gratifies to us, Excellent. We are not calculating to expect an award or gratification. That would be negative! If I suddenly do an act of kindness and I am rewarded, I am talking about a recognition level as I stated above, I will feel good. I'm going to feel quite well. And I'll help. I will not fall prey to flattery with ego. No, no, no! Simply that recognition is valid. It is valid if I study and my teacher hands me over a diploma to me, congratulating me, etc... I'm going to feel good! Do not push ourselves talking that everything is Ego. Feeling good is not ego, enjoying something is not ego. Or else we will end up like in the phrase: "Being more Catholic than the Pope". We have to enjoy life; we have to enjoy things...

Once I mentioned in another session that we have to be alert to our behavior to avoid falling into roles of ego with the reactive mind. We need to "keep an eye". And more than one said: "Oh, but that is truly hard to be alert at all times", "watching us eternally in order to not fall into a mistake or not to create a hostile act against others." "No," I said at that time, because in the end we finally get used to being gentle. It is a condition that we should have to be innate! Yes, we! We shouldn’t have to study to be gentle. It should be innate! Chivalry in men, kindness in women, being supportive, etc... That should be from our childbirth! If we get used to that and then automatically we do it like breathing. I said this on more than one occasion. This does not mean what other student said:, "Oh, how annoying it is for me to control myself over 24 hours a day, 3600 seconds per hour". No, no. That is not necessary and we are not going to be so strict. If we are very strict we also break the balance. We have to be balanced and to rule out our mistakes. Do not forgive, because sins are forgiven(*). If we commit hostile acts we are responsible not guilty. This I have said on more than one occasion.

One is guilty when purposely commits a hostile act. One is responsible, not guilty, if inadvertently commits a hostile act. He forgot to make a very important call because he failed to remember or he received a notice in the car and he forgot to deliver it. It is a hostile act against the other person, because he surely has done something harmful. Perhaps that person had to leave and she was waiting for that call. But we are not guilty; we are responsible because we did not do it on purpose. We do not have to punish ourselves; if we do have to take responsibility on a commitment. And if we, I mean to you all, undertake that responsibility at least we have to schedule the day that we have to make a call, or that day we have to attend to the meeting, or that day we have to perform that job, or that day we have to go out with that person to such a place, etc.. It is very important to do that.

I have seen, backing to the subject of the rules of the physical plane, that most people skip that. They are not formal. Informal people are very common in this society! Failing to give acknowledgement is not being formal. I leave a message on the answering machine and the other person does not answer. That is to be informal! Or, Let’s see the worst case of a person you don’t care about. However, even if you don’t pay attention to the other person, let’s assume that it’s a person with whom you have nothing in common or you don’t want to talk to that person at all, it’s never hurtful, you don’t lose anything, you will not be impolite, your body will not drop anything, if you make a courtesy call. Courtesy must be inherent in the Spirit. It has nothing to do with seeking the other person’s approval, because the ego is the one that requires the approval of the others. The ego is the one that requires the approval of the other people. Courtesy must be innate. As it should be innate loyalty, the word that one gives to someone like a promise, etc... For me the word given is more important than a signature on a document. 

The thing is that the other person does not know and you do not know if his/her word is worthy, then of course that you need the signature on a document. That's a logical thing! Actually it should not be like that! I know that there are places on this world where the word is more important than a signature, and the document is only one a circumstance which adds like shaking hands, looking into the eyes, saying simply okay. We are aiming at that! Then, somehow we have to study and learn all topics. Learning that it is important to give acknowledgement, learning that any person is important, learning that it’s important to cooperate with each other, in all aspects!, Learning that recognition is good, not flattery, learning that communion with the other is useful, learning that improvisation with balance is more important than being schematic, and learning how to avoid creating more hostile acts to others without realizing it, thinking only about ourselves. One has to make a mark about that from the beginning, as I said, after we get used to it.

And finally, let us not fear to hug each other, fear not to shake hands, we have no fear of looking at the eyes, etc... We are spirits that we are looking for another spirits! And not about personal love, but impersonal love! The other person is also important! Let’s understand that we are important to ourselves, because the only way to make others feel good is when you feel good about yourself first. Because then comes the power of empathy. Let's start with us. That is not selfishness or self-centeredness, as long as we keep communicating and helping each other.

(*) Forgiveness is an act of arrogance

This entry was posted on Monday, July 08, 2013 and is filed under .
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