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SERVICE AND RECOGNITION
Psychointegration session
25/JAN/2007
By Jorge Raul Olguin
We are going to talk, just like in previous sessions about Service.
It was said that in many cases there are people who serve in institutions, like
hospitals, clinics, or medical institutions and they serve mandatorily because
it is their job to do that, because that's all they have to do. The example I
will give is the example of a nurse who works 8 to 10 hours earning little
money, complaining about her life... Maybe that nurse has to go to her house and
she also has he own personal problems, family and emotional distress... A
thousand kinds of problems. So, the first question would be, with this type of
required service, Could she ascend spiritually? The answer is
YES.
For better or worse,
mandatorily or not, the nurse is somehow helping other people. She can be
assisting terminal patients or helping children who are taking their first
vaccine and creating a better perspective of life, etc... The problem appears in
her spirit, if that person is unhappy with what she does for a living. Maybe not
about her profession or her duty, in the case of another person, but
dissatisfied with her life in general. Then, she will have a broken spirit, her
Higher-self will be sad and the person herself will be sad. It's like somehow
that sadness can contaminate the rest of the spirit suffocating her life,
because she does not have solved her longings, because she feels that her life
is not pleasant for her, and somehow it’s like and up and down effect. On one
hand she is up, due to that "mandatory" Service and on the other hand it’s like
her spirit is stained and descends going through questioning that she makes
herself.
Service must be done without obligation, Service must be joyful. A
young man once told me a long ago that sometimes when we say to others that
Service is elevating spiritually, they have a dilemma: "Oh! if I'm not going to
be helpful to my neighbor my vibrational
level will descend, Or if I don’t act altruistically my spirit will have
problems ". "This is wrong, Professor Olguin, because
then you are creating more conflicts and pushing people so that they Serve
mandatorily" The confusion goes through partial misunderstanding of what I have
explained. Service must be done with Joy; it has to come from the bottom of the
heart, without speculations:
-"Oh sure, I'll take a few points if I help this old lady to cross
the street". "Tomorrow I'm going to the hospital and I’ll donate blood and I’ll
make 3 or 4 points." It has nothing to do with being so "cold" in the
calculations of doing Service. The thing is that Service comes from the heart,
without speculations, without calculations. That we feel useful, proud with a
healthy pride, not ego, capable to serve others. And that will never make us
feel badly from any point of view. On the contrary! That will bring us
recognition and we have to be happy for that
recognition.
There was an old aphorism, which is not mine that says: "Do not let
that defeat defeats you and do not let that victory conquers you". Most of us
are alert to criticism as a matter of ego. Criticism bothers us and if it’s
destructive even more. Then, it is very difficult that defeat defeats us, it’s
much easier than victory conquers us. Translating this it would be a compliment.
Flattery conquers us. Generally the person who makes a compliment is a
sycophantic person who seeks to take advantage of something. And flattery
conquers the ego, our ego, which is always seeking approval. What better
endorsement that a compliment? It's like an award, like a pat on your
shoulder.
How can we differentiate a healthy recognition from a flattery? It
can be done by the way of doing it. It may be from whom you are receiving the
recognition, etc... Recognition is a healthy thing. It is part of dignity, it
has nothing to do with the ego, nor does it have anything to do with flattery.
It’s an acknowledgment of a work you're doing or an attitude you took the
weekend for someone else and then they called you by phone and you were
recognized it: "Ah, but we are delighted with what you've done". Recognition
would be bad for yourself, if you boosted yourself in vanity. However, if you
take it in a natural way; that recognition is valid! The other person did it
with complete kindness and gratitude, responding to the kindness you had in
favor of some of them at some point.
Flattery is different, because it seeks to hinder your concept.
Flattery is seeking somehow to make you confused. Flattery and recognition are
opposites although they look similar. Recognition comes from the heart and the
person has to receive it as it is. If we ignored this recognition we would fall
into false modesty, as I said many times false modesty is hypocrisy’s cousin.
The example I give is when I went to the program with Horacio Embon and he asked me a
very tricky question: "Do you consider yourself a Master?" Any person with false
modesty would say:- "Oh! No, I’m not, I have to learn too much, I am not a Master.” And false
modesty is hypocrisy’s cousin because if I knew and I had many disciples
learning from me and they have move forward ascending, my answer then it must be
the one I gave. "Yes, of course I think that I am a Master". And it’s also true what
I said back then, "but I will also keep on being a student until the last day of
this incarnation." Then, I defeated the momentum of false modesty because it
seemed to me hypocritical to say: "Oh, no, no!" Or "Yes, yes! That is
correct".
Then, we have reviewed two topics, we have reviewed the topic related
to service, which must be done with joy and we have reviewed the topic about
recognition, which has nothing to do with flattery. Sometimes one of the laws of
the physical plane tells us that we have to give acknowledge about what we did
so that we don’t create confusion or engrams or even a minimal acknowledgment!
However, it is always important to give acknowledgement. Sometimes the other
person does not acknowledge because directly ignores the laws of the physical
plane, because he/she is ignorant about the topic. On the other hand, if I were
a defense attorney in the laws of the physical plane I would say: "Oh, but there
is something called ethics". Even if a person does not know the laws of the
physical plane, he/she can still acknowledge due to a matter of ethics, keeping
in mind the other person. Because he who does not
respond, does not take you into account, and not having the other person in mind
is a lack of respect and disrespect is a hostile act. A minimal hostile act, but
a hostile act in the end.
There are people who work together with each other officially,
unofficially they are quite individualistic. They are people who are interested
in showing off as a matter of ego or directly they are indoctrinated, they are
taught in such way like those horses that do not see to the sides so that they
don’t hear, they are not distracted, or frightened, they are indoctrinated to do
such a thing as if they had hard-skin on the forehead and they don’t move from
there. Then, they are not working together. They are not cooperating with each
other! They are used to being individualistic people so that they do not do it
on purpose. They do not give acknowledgement; they do not pay attention to
others, they are seeking their own personal glory, because they were taught in
that way. With all due respect to those people, but they look like those trained
dogs that perform certain tasks. And I’m not speaking on behalf of that person
who can investigate, I speak against them. When a person loses the initiative
he/she is a person who is not going to perform well on what he/she is working,
because that person is in-doc-tri-na-ted and his/her
point of view will be so small that at any given time they will be stranded
regardless the official status they have to develop within the work they are
doing. That's why I always say that, as far as possible, we have to work
together or we have to interact in work daily. We always have to keep in mind
the other person! Obviously, there are some tasks that can be done
independently, obviously there's work to be done unilaterally, but some people
are still working like robots. And those people are like ballasts to the rest of
the group unfortunately.
This brings up another part of Psychointegration whenever you are diagramed or you
improvise. Those people who are usually like that do not give acknowledgement
since they are schematic. In Freudian psychology such schemes are widely used.
In transpersonal psychology and Psychointegration, the
technique I created in 1997, they do not have any scheme. Transpersonal
psychology certainly does have some schemes that still have not been eliminated
at all due to the lack of courage.
Sometimes it's good to be brave. The thing is that the concept of
society about being bold, seems like the word shameless and it is related to
hostile acts. I have no shame. If my roles of ego are integrated, I have no
shame to speak in public, I have no shame to show myself as I am, I have no
shame to look at the eye of another person, etc... So Am I a scoundrel? In many
regions the word shameless has a negative meaning like the word bold. The word
‘bold’ sounds like a person who invades committing hostile acts. To me boldness
or audacity has no negative meaning, as long as we are talking in terms of a
sense of balance. I can be bold to tackle a new project, I can dare to have a
new love, I can dare to restart my life if I failed before due to unlucky life
circumstances, I can be shameless to have new desires, etc.. If I don’t dare, I am committing a hostile act against
myself. Then being bold in this society is like: "Oh! how insolent you are!" Bold is a word that I like to use it
with balance. Always with balance.
The schematic person the one who improvises has always being
considered as a person who does not have a horizon, as a
person who is like a weathercock moved by the wind. Improvisation also
has to be balanced. This big work is done with balance in Psychointegration. Psychointegration also regularly improvises on a given
topic. That's what matters! Not having schemes, the person will have one, two,
three, four tools to choose from, after a certain period the person will have a
thousand different tools to find out which tool he/she can use. That is good!
That's important when balancing improvisation.
There is a very important issue that I would like to approach and it
has to do with how to try to achieve that the other person complies with the
laws of the physical plane and gives acknowledgment. We send an email, another,
another and another and the person does not reply. Until finally, one loses the
patience or because we feel anxious because we find no acknowledgment from the
other party, we say: "I do not understand why you do not communicate." The other
party takes it as a hostile act because if we are the ones who sent this email
and we say: "I do not understand why you do not communicate" we are complaining
in any way, we are talking about us and not about the other person. The famous
ME. So the sentence "I do not understand why you do not communicate" comes from
the ego. We are complaining and that complaint may provoke in the other person a
contradictory effect. The complaint makes that the person in many cases can be
more aloof. The way to "conquer" the person is just giving recognition. Not a
calculated recognition as I said before, but an acknowledgment from the heart. I
really want to contact with that person, this person is really going to be
useful to me, but here's the main thing, I'm going to be useful to that person
too. It will be reciprocated. It will have a good future. Then, the
communication is going to be beneficial for both parties. Then the contact is
good to start with the acknowledgment. That is very important to
consider.
We approached the topic about the schemes, the issue about
communication, recognition and flattery, and we said that Service is not
mandatory. Then, we approach the issue of generality. Why sometimes people who
are individualistic do not communicate? Because somehow two things may happen:
First, they drag certain engrams from other past lives and they just have that
communication hindered based on these engrams. Second. In most of the cases the
lack of communication in those beings, who are
individualistic, is dictated precisely by society. They are used to that and
unfortunately, it's like suddenly they like being individualistic people. They
lose the sense of communication with the others. It's like the example I gave at
the beginning of the nurse who is committing a hostile act toward herself for
complaining about her life style in spite of providing permanent Service in her
work. While generating a hostile act
against herself she made up for herself when she serves others during the day.
With the individualistic person happens the same thing.
An individualistic person who somehow wants to succeed in his/her research, but
his/her horizon is going to be closed because the more individualistic the
person is, the more the person will be in the shadows. There will come a time
when there will be a black hole in his/her future, a huge gravitational well
that the person will not be able to get out from it. We, if we are open-minded
people, will try to reach out those people to move them forward, and we are
going to do it with joy, pleasure, and we are going to feel good. And if return
by rescuing that person it gratifies to us, Excellent. We are not calculating to
expect an award or gratification. That would be negative! If I suddenly do an
act of kindness and I am rewarded, I am talking about a recognition level as I
stated above, I will feel good. I'm going to feel quite well. And I'll help. I
will not fall prey to flattery with ego. No, no, no! Simply that recognition is
valid. It is valid if I study and my teacher hands me over a diploma to me,
congratulating me, etc... I'm going to feel good! Do not push ourselves talking
that everything is Ego. Feeling good is not ego, enjoying something is not ego.
Or else we will end up like in the phrase: "Being more Catholic than the Pope".
We have to enjoy life; we have to enjoy things...
Once I mentioned in another session that we have to be alert to our
behavior to avoid falling into roles of ego with the reactive mind. We need to
"keep an eye". And more than one said: "Oh, but that is truly hard to be alert
at all times", "watching us eternally in order to not fall into a mistake or not
to create a hostile act against others." "No," I said at that time, because in
the end we finally get used to being gentle. It is a condition that we should
have to be innate! Yes, we! We shouldn’t have to study to be gentle. It should
be innate! Chivalry in men, kindness in women, being supportive, etc... That
should be from our childbirth! If we get used to that and then automatically we
do it like breathing. I said this on more than one occasion. This does not mean
what other student said:, "Oh, how annoying it is for me to control myself over
24 hours a day, 3600 seconds per hour". No, no. That is not necessary and we are
not going to be so strict. If we are very strict we also break the balance. We
have to be balanced and to rule out our mistakes. Do not forgive, because sins
are forgiven(*). If we commit hostile acts we are responsible not guilty. This I
have said on more than one occasion.
One is guilty when purposely commits a hostile act. One is
responsible, not guilty, if inadvertently commits a hostile act. He forgot to
make a very important call because he failed to remember or he received a notice
in the car and he forgot to deliver it. It is a hostile act against the other
person, because he surely has done something harmful. Perhaps that person had to
leave and she was waiting for that call. But we are not guilty; we are
responsible because we did not do it on purpose. We do not have to punish
ourselves; if we do have to take responsibility on a commitment. And if we, I
mean to you all, undertake that responsibility at least we have to schedule the
day that we have to make a call, or that day we have to attend to the meeting,
or that day we have to perform that job, or that day we have to go out with that
person to such a place, etc.. It is very important to do
that.
I have seen, backing to the subject of the rules of the physical
plane, that most people skip that. They are not formal. Informal people are very
common in this society! Failing to give acknowledgement is not being formal. I
leave a message on the answering machine and the other person does not answer.
That is to be informal! Or, Let’s see the worst case of a person you don’t care about. However,
even if you don’t pay attention to the other person, let’s assume that it’s a
person with whom you have nothing in common or you don’t want to talk to that
person at all, it’s never hurtful, you don’t lose anything, you will not be
impolite, your body will not drop anything, if you make a courtesy call.
Courtesy must be inherent in the Spirit. It has nothing to do with seeking the
other person’s approval, because the ego is the one that requires the approval
of the others. The ego is the one that requires the approval of the other
people. Courtesy must be innate. As it should be innate loyalty, the word that
one gives to someone like a promise, etc... For me the word given is more
important than a signature on a document.
The thing is that the other person does not know and you do not know
if his/her word is worthy, then of course that you need the signature on a
document. That's a logical thing! Actually it should not be like that! I know
that there are places on this world where the word is more important than a
signature, and the document is only one a circumstance which adds like shaking
hands, looking into the eyes, saying simply okay. We are aiming at that! Then,
somehow we have to study and learn all topics. Learning that it is important to
give acknowledgement, learning that any person is important, learning that it’s
important to cooperate with each other, in all aspects!, Learning that
recognition is good, not flattery, learning that communion with the other is
useful, learning that improvisation with balance is more important than being
schematic, and learning how to avoid creating more hostile acts to others
without realizing it, thinking only about ourselves. One has to make a mark
about that from the beginning, as I said, after we get used to
it.
And finally, let us not fear to hug each other, fear not to shake
hands, we have no fear of looking at the eyes, etc... We are spirits that we are
looking for another spirits! And not about personal love, but impersonal love!
The other person is also important! Let’s understand that we are important to
ourselves, because the only way to make others feel good is when you feel good
about yourself first. Because then comes the power of empathy. Let's start with
us. That is not selfishness or self-centeredness, as long as we keep
communicating and helping each other.
(*) Forgiveness is an act of arrogance
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