SELF-ESTEEM

SELF-ESTEEM Psychointegration Session 29/May/2007 Medium: Jorge Raul Olguin Entity that came to talk: Johnakan Ur-El Master Johnakan-Ur-El: Dear friends I’m here to give you a message and try to clarify several issues that have much to do with situations of the physical plane. You know me as Johnakan-Ur-El and I am the Thetan of this vessel. It has been said many times that each spirit is unique; that each person is unique in this universe and that we all are equal in the eyes of the Father. I have taken the license and the audacity to add that we can stand out or not according to our behavior. On the physical plane many things happen. On the physical plane, many people to whom I have analyzed, with all due respect, measure up themselves according to their achievements, their results, their physical appearance, and what they have achieved or what they have failed to achieve, according to their success or failure, good experiences, bad experiences, abandonment because they did not approve certain matters of life, they don’t feel loved. Certainly that situation gives more power to the roles of ego, the roles of victim, the roles of resentment, according to how the spirit of the person is. And obviously it also magnifies certain engrams and others that were hidden come to light reactivated. There is a therapeutic current that says that it’s impossible to love others if we do not love ourselves first. It's a valid current! It has some dose of truth! Generally we reflect what we are because we cannot pretend to be someone different for a long time because it takes a lot of work and causes exhaustion. The lack of self-esteem, and I said it many years ago, occurs when the ego seeks the approval of others. We seek approval to a way of being, to a way of dressing, we seek the approval from our partner, our friends or the environment around us, if the work we have done is fine, if it’s convincing the partner we have or our way of being and our physical appearance is good. If we are very thin, if we are a little overweight, if we are tall, if we are too short, if we are very old or if we're too young so that they can understand us. We don’t have all these kind of questions in the spiritual planes, because there are no taller or shorter, no thin or fat, older or younger. In the spiritual planes there is no economic perspective: whether we are rich or if we are poor. Then, with all these questions I'll add another question, obviously it would be If we as spirits can be better or worse, according to your way of naming it, by attitudes: if we are altruistic, we can be more useful; if we are self-centered, we will be less useful, then we will be better when we serve more, Aren’t we going to be measured up or we will not be cataloged differently? If the spirit lacks of economy, lacks of physical form, there is no way to prejudge by the age, skin color, or if it’s male or female because the spirit has no sexual gender. Everything else has to do with the roles of ego on the physical plane, we feel bad and we feel good. Today I feel that as a woman I am not loved, today I feel that I am not accepted as a man. I feel like many things overwhelm me. I feel like there are goals that I will never be able to reach because they are out of my perspective. All these ideas belong to the physical plane. Now, Are they real? Yes and no. Yes, because the physical plane is lived according to what we chose before to embody, the region, the family, the economic position, the goals that we will achieve, but when we are incarnated we don’t know what the spirit chose and if we embodied in a place which is not convincing or if our economy is not the best, we blame the circumstances or maybe there is some karma from previous lives and we have to learn a lesson.  It is true that on the physical plane we do not have the same possibilities and we don’t have the same opportunities. Sometimes it's chance. There are people who earn a fortune in a game, while there are people who keep working all their lives. There are people who chose a lifetime partner and they failed once, twice or more times, while there are others who have a great relationship for many years. Then, Does it mean that if you had a bad choice of work, or life, or partnership, or circle of friends, your self-esteeem has to be affected? Actually no. Because if we are spirits and we are convinced that we came in order to help others, we have to "relegate" ourselves a little in order to think about the others. This contradicts what I said a long time ago that we cannot help others when we are lying on the ground. Then, we have to be back on our feet. Yes, of course! I still hold that position. We always have to be strong and then we can help others. So what prevents us from being strong? Engrams? Probably yes, but even so we can get over them. What affects our self-esteem? The environment or circumstances? Probably yes, but all in all we can get over all of that. How?  First, we must keep in mind that we all are unique. Second, we must keep in mind that we are valuable. However, not valuable as the Freudian narcissism that turns into pedantry, with roles of ego that make up a pedestal so that others worship him. That narcissist who looks into the mirror and worships himself. No, no, no. Because that would not be balance. Having certainty. But how am I going to be sure if the last three or four things I planned for one reason or another fell apart? Right. Then the base is to be evaluated. Did they collapse due to circumstances beyond our own error? Usually due to circumstances beyond our control. Then one of the errors is to prejudge ourselves, the word prejudice means to judge prematurely. And let’s suppose that we made a mistake. So what? We are responsible for that mistake, but not guilty, because I have said it many times before that guilty is the one who does the things on purpose, knowing that hostile acts that will happen. On the other hand, responsible is the one who committed the mistake unintentionally. And although he could provoke unconsciously or indirectly hostile acts, he is not doing it on purpose. He will be responsible for what he did, but he does not have to generate guilt complexes.  Then, if theoretically we don’t have to create guilt complexes due to alleged failures, if we don’t have to blame ourselves spiritually for things that we have not yet achieved, why do we have such low self-esteem? All spirits are fallible! We can choose a wrong relationship, we can be with the wrong people, but why do these people have to have power over us? Many years ago I said that my vessel, Jorge, with his word has no power to move a single hair saying: ‘Move’! The hair is not going to move... how the word is going to have the power to hurt us? Who grants that power to that person? The other one! Then, the question to add would be: Why do we give that power to the other person? Because we give importance to the other person. By granting him the power to hurt us with his word we are responsible to make that person important instead of being important ourselves. As I said before, not in a fatuous way, important by revalue or value ourselves well. We are important because each one of us have a mission in this life. We are important because we have within ourselves the ability to give Love. We are important because we can give happiness to other people. We are important because we can teach how to be happy. We are important because we are unique. And failure is sometimes beyond our control. Every human being must have a motivation and through these messages one can arouse even more that motivation. Where I, as a spirit messenger, cannot do anything to those embodied people who are immersed in utter indifference, or people who do not pay attention to the other, not even do they care about themselves, but I can make that a person puts down robust roots and have a developed trunk in those who do have an interest and those who do have the desire to grow up and that is what we should not miss. Because we have a lot to give and a lot to do.  The lack of self-esteem sometimes depends on comparisons. What did I accomplish? What did he or she accomplish? And comparisons are hateful! As well as it’s also hateful contemptuous comparisons when the person is at the top: ‘Oh, look what I have accomplished and look what they have achieved!’ No comparison is good. All comparisons are hateful. Then, if I have low self-esteem, if my self-esteem is weak... compared to what? Because if I embodied on an island living only with animals, I have nobody to compare myself. I will not have low self-esteem unless I create a role of victim saying: ‘Oh! Why was I born on this island since I cannot share my life with anyone? But in a group of society the lack of self-esteem has to do with comparing one to the other and one of the tools in order not to have low self-esteem is not to make comparisons. A Spirit of Light said more than two millennia ago: Do ​​not measure the road by what you have traveled, but measure it by what you did not travel. That's an incentive. Because some people have the glass one quarter full and look at the empty glass of the others and says: ‘Oh, I'm happy with it!’ It’s not like that! One has to fight, in the best sense of the word, to succeed, because the mission of each one of us is to move forward to reach out with a helping hand to those who are left behind. Many people can take the last phrase as something detrimental, because it can lead to discouragement. I have a lot to do! I will never arrive to my goal! Why do we have to invalidate ourselves? Anyways let’s be consistent and logical. Being incarnated we will have logical projects which are not too long term. Projects that can be achieved. I aspire to this. I aspire to that. Things that are really within our reach. That does not mean we stop dreaming of what might seem impossible. The day of tomorrow I would like to have this or that. It’s not bad to dream about material things because that’s why you are incarnated. But above all things remember that in the end we all are spirits. Many embodied spirits have complained conceptually to me explaining that they do not feel those roles, they feel hunger, thirst, sleep, desires to enjoy, they feel like that's their only lifetime. It seems perfect! I also feel it in that way! In the end we are roles, even feeling everything we feel, we are roles. The end of our physical life will come when we will stop being that role. And there are no contradictions. Because on one hand I say: ‘Dream about important things to raise your self-esteem.’ But on the other hand I say: ‘Do not cling to futile things.’ And I'm not saying anything contradictory. This means that we can have projects, but it also means that we must know what is valuable and what is disposable. Or else we would be like a wagon pulled by a horse where we carry a lot of burdens that have no meaning for us in our future life. Get rid of all the burdens and take over of what is truly important! Maybe it’s something small, but let's stay with it and throw away all the ballast! And never lose the ability to dream! I return to what I said before. The high self-esteem or low self-esteem in many cases depends on comparisons, with exceptions where there are Spirits who are very strong and very confident that directly they have a higher self-esteem without making comparisons without despising others who have low self-esteem. On the contrary. Generally he who has a higher self-esteem is important to reach out with a helping hand to the others because they do if for enjoyment, for love, for compatibility, vibration, syntony, because if they don’t do it, they would fall into indifference and their high self-esteem would serve for nothing if they become indifferent, it would be worse than a viral illness or bacterial disease that corrodes the soul. The enemy of Love is not hatred, but indifference. And I did not say that, other philosophers said it before and I absolutely agree with them. But the worst indifference is the indifference to oneself. We must love ourselves, we must accept ourselves. We do not have to worry about the opinions of others, for or against us, because on the physical plane we usually shield ourselves wearing a breastplate against criticism, but we stop wearing that armor when we hear a flattery. And flattery is as pernicious as criticism because flattery is what generally makes us fall. If one is self-sufficient and has a high self-esteem, but truly high, and he knows that he is important as a human being, as a lifetime partner, as a friend, flattery is going to slip by, flattery is not going to harm. Obviously a word of encouragement is good. I know young people who have a degree and it is important that their teacher say to them: ‘You have been an excellent student. Keep being like that in your life so that you can be an excellent man or a great woman.’ That's good. It is a healthy compliment. But let’s not be sweetened like honey because that would not allow us to see the other. Because in that case we would be within the ego. Flattery empowers the ego. Many people believe that too much ego makes us narcissistic people, makes us raise our self-esteem and it’s not true, because the ego has another facet. The facet of wanting to go unnoticed, the facet of being coy, the facet of not wanting to take a risk, the facet that invalidates ourselves: ‘Oh, no, no! I know that I will not get it because it is out of my league. I know that this person is not going to see me because she is on a higher level.’ That's what we have to avoid! The fact to value ourselves does not depend on internal work, it depends on a click within ourselves when we say: ‘I got it! And I have to do without comparisons.’ Thanks for listening.