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SELF-WORTH AND GOALS
Psychointegration Session
03/Sept/2007
By Jorge Raul Olguin.
We will approach the topic on what we can do, what is difficult
to achieve and what we, due to different attitudes, block and refuse to get the
possibility to achieve a result which was reachable, it might be occupational,
emotional, any wish or some longing that one does not let it come out; an
expectation which is left unfinished... and all of that has to do with these
roles of ego that have us imprisoned within ourselves, but these roles of ego do
not want to let us go because they feel comfortable, they are comfortable. They
are like parasites within each spirit, they drink, they feed on our spiritual
emotions and they contaminate us. Then, many times a person fails to convince
himself of all that he can achieve, of all that he can do, or how valuable he is
while walking his path, how valuable his daily task is, how valuable his
existence is every day.
Many times people have asked me: “Where is the real happiness?” And I
answer them; true happiness lies in enjoying every moment of our lives. They are
like small crumbs that one is leaving behind on the road and one takes advantage
of them.
My second aphorism - at one time I wrote 316 in a week- it says: "The
goal is the quest." And this aphorism can be interpreted as if one goes in
search of a certain goal, it can be reached easily or not, but what happens when
the goal is achieved? Are we going to rest idly doing nothing? No. the Logical
thing, the coherent thing is that we have to keep on looking for other goals
because the real goal is to enjoy the quest; it means that we have to enjoy the
meanwhile. How many people we know that are going to reach a "target" and until
they reach that target their eyes are closed in order not to see both sides?
Like that horse that has blinders so that it’s not frightened from what happens
at its side. It's like those people who are traveling on a bus, they have an
excellent landscape to see at both sides, but no, the only thing they do is to
watch the clock at all times to see how much longer they have to wait to reach
their destination. They will not get there sooner or later! Unless the driver tighten or loosen the
pedal, but by looking at the window time is not going to flow faster or slower
and due to that impatience, which has no purpose, they miss out the opportunity
to enjoy the meanwhile.
With life happens exactly the same thing.
Life is like a big bus where our mission is to be useful to others, being useful
above all things to ourselves, because if we are not useful to ourselves, we
will not be able to help others, because we will not have the physical or
spiritual strength. However, we do not take advantage of these circumstances
because we have a calendar in front of us and we look for those dates,
birthdays, parties, a relative or a loved one’s birthday, a wedding, a communion
for those who are religious, a trip... I think that those moments are perfect
for great enjoyment, such as Christmas, New Year and Thanksgiving. In Mexico and
in some parts of Latin America they celebrate "the Day of the Dead" not as a
religious ceremony, but as a big party.
Why can’t we celebrate a simple chat with our friends, a dinner, a
movie, or enjoying music in a concert, a meeting with a friend who was far away
from us for a long time? Why can’t we enjoy taking the hand of our lifetime
partner, hugging a loved one who was distant from us, looking a sunset, feeling
the breeze of the wind on our face? These feelings can only be felt on Earth, in
the spiritual world there is no such breeze on our
faces.
Then, it is beautiful to learn how to enjoy every moment of our lives
without feeling a negative self-worth. But the same roles of ego make us feel as
if we were prisoners or hostages by those roles of ego, sometimes they make us
feel with little self-worth: “I’m not going to make it, this is not for me, I
shouldn’t aim so high, I have to slow
myself down a bit” Why the limits! the
world is ours, we have no limits, in any case, at a personal level my limit will
be where the limit of my neighbor begins, because I'm not going to invade
his/her freedom to achieve my own freedom, unless that he/she wants to share and
have mutual liberty. That is my only limit, aside from that I have no limits, I
will accomplish all my purpose in life, but if I don’t limit myself, I will be
able to achieve much more, I will achieve my wishes, circumstances that seemed
so distant I'll have them within my reach, I will never say that this is not for
me, first I’ll see what this is all about, or if this person is too far from
me... Why so far? Who am I to be
unimportant? Surely I’m nobody to be more, but who am I to feel unimportant?
Djwal Khul used to say:
“Every man is useful to the extent that he serves." and I would correct it by
saying ‘every human being is useful to the extent that he serves.’ As long as
one is useful to the others, we have nothing to envy others, all the rest are
temporary circumstances. It is true that not everyone has the same economic
wealth, obviously we don’t have the same life expectancy - there are people with
real health problems- and not all of us have physical attractiveness to be like
the great Adonis, but these are merely
circumstances.
Many years ago back a group of people came to our country, and there
was a young unattractive woman called ‘Tati’, she had
a great sympathy, so big that our entire group fell in love with her inner
beauty, and she was one of the girls who returned to her country and we kept
emailing her for some time. Then, not always the external beauty is important if
it’s not accompanied by inner beauty from a person with whom we have a profound
dialogue, a person with whom we feel like sharing things about us, like a great
friend, or a partner... because truly looking at our inner selves genuinely. We
are neither less nor more than anyone.
We all are spirits that embody to evolve, to give strength to others.
What prevents us from hugging each other, shaking hands or listening to those
lonely people or helping homeless people or raising the fallen? Not only is a
perk for them, but it’s a bonus for us, Who doesn’t enjoy lending a helping
hand? Perhaps those who are not in time yet. Well, I'm actually talking to
everyone, but obviously not everyone is going to accept these words.
The most important thing is not to limit ourselves by saying: ‘I'll
never get to that point’... But if it's for our own good. Why can’t we get
there? Let’s leave that the other person says no, but we shall never say no!
Perhaps ordinary people, and not so common people say: ‘I have the no for answer
already, let’s go for the yes’ or sometimes when we have an expectation from a
person we love and we say: ‘Oh! But this person is not going to pay attention to
me, I’m insignificant, but look at this beautiful man or gorgeous woman’ and we
don’t know how that beautiful person really is. Do we know the drama in the life
of that person? Do we know if that person needs a big hug from us? But we put
limits to ourselves by saying: ‘Oh no! This person is good-looking; he/she is
not going to look at me.’ How do you know he/she is not going to look at you?
You have not even proposed.
We all are important, each one of us is important, the thing is that
we have to realize that, the thing is that we have to learn to love ourselves
and learn to respect ourselves, because if I do not respect myself, How will I
achieve the respect from others? If I do
not accept myself by saying: ‘I am worthless, I’m good-for-nothing’ How can I
pretend that others applaud me? This is the true secret: To love and value
ourselves, and make goals and then we'll see how far we
go.
What more can I say? People say that Love conquers everything, God is
Love, we have a particle of God within us, and we have that particle of Love
that overwhelms us. Let’s express it then! It does not mean that our Love is
going to be accepted by everyone, but let’s spread that Love, of course, Love is
not imposed, it is proposed, nothing is imposed. First,
we have to respect the free will of the other, but a proposal is not bad at all.
That’s the secret.
Thank you.
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