SUBTLE VICTIM ROLE  

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SUBTLE VICTIM ROLE

Psychointegration Session: 12/Dec/2007
By Jorge Raul Olguin

There is a very specific issue to deal with. And the topic has to do with the concealed role of victim. This is an issue I've seen in many patients, male and female. They are people who at some point they fail on a project, or maybe you are related to them and these people are left behind as for their career, and suddenly you accomplish with success your goals and that person can’t do it, or maybe there is a project in common and the other person is delayed because his knowledge is minimal. And due to the same role of ego, realizing that he feels delayed, he gives up to continue the "race", he refuses to continue with the project because, first of all, his ego takes it like a race or competition to achieve success. It may be in an office, a public place, or a common project with two or more people, and then that person, seeing himself behind of you or the others, in the case there are many people who seek a specific project in a multinational office or whatever, the person gives up. And the role of ego he plays is a role of a victim in a subtle way. For example:

- I appreciate the hand you have given me. I appreciate your cooperation. I will never forget your partnership. I will never forget your support. Probably I won’t see you anymore, but deep inside me I will cherish a truly loving memory from you all, but I will leave you all because I don’t want to bother you, I don’t want to be a burden to your future endeavors.

Somehow this person is mulling a subtle victim role. It is not the role of victim that I spoke about 10 years ago...

- If something happens to me, you will be the culprit. You will be the responsible for me if this happens to me. blah blah.

No, no. In this case there is a heartfelt farewell, a large affection.

- I am going far away from your destination because I decided not to be a hindrance in your triumphant path and I don’t want to be an obstacle for you and cause more losses to you and so I distance myself from you, putting cold cloths on my feelings and not to miss you a lot and blah blah.

It doesn’t stop being a subtle victim role and this role will also create to the other, the one who is on the path, a guilt complex, if the person allows himself to be manipulated, as we say in street lingo, allow to be surrounded by snakes. One sometimes gets used to talk so much in slang or lingo, as it is called in some countries; it is easier than the college slang. 

- I'm in one of the boats of the Titanic, but I’m bigger and heavier and I decide to leave the boat by saying: Remind me fondly, although I drown myself, do not worry about my suffering and my death! You keep on rowing the boat!

And those who are on the boat say:

-Oh! We are very cold! How little sentimental! Watch this person drowning. He is giving his life to save us.

Maybe I'm being too dramatic with the examples, but they are examples of what a victim role is. There are complimentary roles of victim and I was studying that. The important thing is that I study daily because I know deeply about the ego and I study behaviors, and I find conclusions that for me are like creations, because the conclusions I arrived and put them online, until I take them out to the light, no professional therapist has do it before. And I bear testimony on that. And besides those who read these lines can match it if they have read it from another person. There are compliments that are roles of victim.

- Congratulations! What you do is wonderful. There is no one like you. That's why I leave you alone because I don’t want to be an obstacle for you. I appreciate the hand you have given to me, but I let you go because I know that I'm a hindrance. You are important and I don’t want to disturb you.

That's a flattery with a role of victim. It does not stop bothering the other. And that role of victim can be somehow avoided. If the role of victim is played, it’s made precisely to annoy somehow. Beware! Consciously or unconsciously. The victim roles are quite evident and they are coarse, the example I always say:

- Oh! Look at the time you have arrived! I’m alone here. Do you think it is right? Sure! It does not matter to you! You don’t care about me!

This is a direct victim role. It is a role of victim which is not unconscious. The other role can be an unconscious victim role. It can be a role where the person is somehow trying to manipulate, but so subtly…smoothly like a spider web, but the person feels it and it’s uncomfortable, it can affect the chakra of the solar plexus to the point of provoking a stomachache if the person is very emotional, because we all have ego. Nobody is exempt from ego! Even the clearest person on the planet has roles of ego. He/she may have them more or less integrated, the analytical mind may be alert without giving space to the reactive mind, but unless we have a genetic problem, something we hear, we are not deaf; then we grasp subliminally what the other is trying to say. Then the famous clap, the famous greeting which gives a double message. The famous double-talk that politicians say. Because when they tell you:

- I'm really proud of your career. With the appreciation I have for you and I don’t want to hinder you, I leave you go triumphantly as I turn away to the other side.

He is trying to say the opposite. Its meaning is:

-This triumph should have been mine. I don’t understand how you are walking this path. I truly cannot stand what you're doing, but obviously I cannot admit it.

Be aware of this too. What I'm adding does not mean that the person is playing the victim role openly, although subconsciously he is thinking it. It does not mean he says it on purpose. Watch out with that. I don’t mean that. Maybe on purpose he has the best intentions, but unconsciously the person who plays a subtle role of victim somehow is manipulating. Subtly, but he manipulates in the end. Because there are several ways to attack, there are several ways to punish and there are several ways to block the way. Now that we live in an electronic world the sabotage is precise. There are no gross sabotages. Anyway, let’s go back to the emotional field, in the emotional field there are beings that plot subtle sabotages by using emotional flattery, applause, but from behind, under the carpet, they keep all that to bring it up later. Very subtle dirt. That is the subtle role of ego of the person who plays a victim role very subtly. It can create to a person, who is not ready, who does not feel confident about the things he does good or bad, a guilt complex similar or bigger than the person who plays ​​the victim role openly. There are people who do not play the victim role directly; they are people who attack openly.

-You're going to fail and I’m sure of that!

And they say it openly in front of your face. These are people who are directly on the edge between neurosis and psychosis. After all the people who are neurotic live playing the roles of victim and there are people who get sick due to victim roles. Another paradigm that I reveal, and this is very important because psychologists do not say it. A psychologist can say that the emotional field can affect the physical field. Ok, yes. What psychologists do not say is that human beings who are manipulative by playing victim roles twist their emotional field so that it affects the physical body. They generate to themselves a disease in order to manipulate. And no psychologist says that. That is caused by subtle roles of victim, direct, forced or whatever the person who tries to manipulate generates to himself an emotional condition that later on becomes a somatic disease. I know what I'm saying and I understand that later on this is going to be very common for doctors and therapists, but nowadays manipulative people... I 'm not talking about people who externalize, right? People, who do externalize, do it based on themselves. They are hypochondriac people. Yes? I'm not talking about that. This is in case that some medical professional reads this session so that he/she separates the terms. I’m not talking about the hypochondriac person. I'm talking about that person who plays the roles of victim in order to take advantage by manipulating other people, or even if he/she does not take advantage by hindering other and he/she feels satisfied, and a happy person, but the universe is like a mirror, it was said by my Higher-self, everything that goes returns to the same person. 

Then the person who is manipulating by playing the role of victim, the same person believes in what happens to him. "Everything that happens to me is your fault." And the person generates an emotional negativity in his field and it directly affects the body. So, although doctors from the 90s of XX century recognize that the emotional field affects the physical field, it’s important to add that the emotional field is affected by the manipulative ego of the person. One from outside objectively will say:

-But how stupid! Because the same person does not realize that he/she is getting sick while trying to manipulate others!

That person is so blind by aiming a target in the other, he/she is seeking to create a short circuit in the other person, but he/she does not realize what happens to himself/ herself. The ego blinds the reasoning of oneself and blocks the relation with others. Then, one of my aphorisms says: The blind person can perceive what the selfish person cannot. That's all for the moment.

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